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March 2006

Torino Olympic Opening Ceremony

Last night Kevin and I watched the opening ceremony. We wanted to see the country uniforms.

First prize for the most tasteful uniform goes to Japan: They wore plain white parkas and hats with just a hint of the red from the Japanese flag.

First Prize for the silliest hat but the best attitude - goes to Mongolia. Each person wore a dead animal but had the most cheerful expression on their faces.

First Prize for the greatest departure from their country's flag: - goes to Germany. What were they thinking? Vomit green with vomit orange parkas that bore no resemblance to their country's flag. The hats with the fake braids were also a complete fashion disaster. Someone was thinking - let's not do the German colors!

First Prize for wearing all the colors of your flag: Goes to South Africa. Helpful hint: wear a nice neutral color and then accessorize with colors from your flag.

And lastly Italy. Metallic colors are not a good idea when televised. They gleam too much. But what does this mean for winter fashion? Metallic colors are in!

Did you see Sophia Loren? She is magnificent even at 71.

I thought the human element display/ dance that ended up in the shape of a dove was excellent. I actually liked Peter Gabriel's version of Imagine. I still prefer the poignancy of the original. Peter's version sounded a little too militaristic for me (in the beginning.)

The lighting of the Olympic flame was quite spectacular. We tivo'd a repeat broadcast just to see that one more time.


A President's Report To the Shareowners

Who knew that financial documents can actually be humorous, a breath of fresh air? The President's report to shareholders is often crammed with incomprehensible business jargon. But here are excerpts from a letter that really is a breath of fresh air. The author is to be commended for telling it like it is. (I wish more businesses would forgo the jargon in favor of a bit of truth.)

It begins...

"We had a highly unsatisfactory year and it appears that 2006 will be worse.... Your Management has never experienced a more dismal short term outlook for our industry... We are truly caught in a pincer movement."

I don't see a single piece of business jargon putting a spin on this! Amazing.

Here's another rare paragraph from the same letter:

"What's going to happen: The costs of energy may come down from these current levels, but over the long term energy costs will trend higher (barring a depression). Most other business costs will continue their upward spiral. As for the price of corn, if we had great confidence in our opinion, we probably wouldn't be writing this letter. We guess that over the long term corn prices will increase, but for the next year or two... heck! You call it. We keep in mind what a successful survivor told us, "When things are looking bad, they'll get worse.""

The closing paragraph:

"What's the future: We are confident that we can successfully execute our new business objectives. We believe in our judgment and we have the will to work hard and long. We have dedicated and competent people, a strong balance sheet, and an excellent facility infrastructure. However, we make no guarantees, besides, they all have expiration dates."

This letter should win an award!

Unfortunately I do not know which company this is, or who the author of the letter is. Whoever they are may they live long and prosper!


Superbowl XL Commercials

Once again we tuned in to watch Superbowl XL, Steelers (aka the Bumblebees) take on the noble and dashing Seattle Seahawks. The Steelers were heavy favorites to win, and so they did. They crushed the Seahawks 21-10. But it wasn't all clean sailing. The first quarter was a surprise; I fully expected a game similar the the Steeler/ Bronco game with the Bumblebees blasting through the defensive line of the Seahawks. But the Seahawks managed to de- sting them- the Steelers only managed a first down by the 2nd quarter. Amazing. Could it be that the Seahawks would give them a run for their money? Kevin and I were hopeful. Maybe the Steelers would have their work cut out for them.

But enough about the game, and the bizarre referee calls. What about the Superbowl commercials? Would GoDaddy.com sizzle? Would Mick Jagger (horror of horrors) perform a wardrobe malfunction?

So here is my Superbowl Commercials Round up:

I have excluded (except for one) most car adverts. They are really too annoying.

First prize goes to the Ameriquest adverts. The first is in a hospital where a doctor/ attending uses a defibrillator to kill a fly - The hapless family comes in just as the doctor says "that killed him". The second Ameriquest advert is of a woman on a plane who is dying to go to the loo - she has to wriggle pass 2 sleeping men, her blouse gets hooked, the plane hits an air pocket and the shocked passengers see her astride a male passenger with his sleeping masks in his mouth. "Don't judge too quickly" Very funny. Check out the ads here.

Second Prize: The Fedex Caveman advert. Underling Caveman wants to send a message in a hostile and primitive world with every jurassic park monster on the loose. His pterdactyl (and message) gets chomped. Boss Caveman is unsympathetic and says he should have used Fedex. Underling is upset and kicks small hapless bottom of the food chain creature before being stomped on. Check out the Fedex Ad here.

Third Prize: The Hummer Ad. What's with Hummer? I usually hate car commercials but this one is really good. This was Kevin's favorite. Scaly Monster demolishes City, meets Robo Man doing the same. It is love at first sight. Monster has bun in oven and gives birth to, you guessed it: Hummer- Its a little monster. Check it out here.

Honorable Mention: Nationwide - An Aging Fabio.

And the GoDaddy.com ad? Well they sent in the GoDaddy Girl (Kevin was pleased.) But it was really tame. But go to GoDaddy.com and see the internet only ad. It is a hoot.